Why Can’t I Lose Weight? Weight Loss Truths

“Why Is Weight Loss So Hard?” - 5 Hard To Hear Truths Holding You Back

“Why is Weight Loss So Hard?"

Since the start of the year 2020 I have carried out 72 (to be precise) “BREAKTHROUGH” sessions to potential clients. The above ^^^ question is the one I hear most in some form or another…

“Why Is Weight Loss So Hard?”

“How Do I Lose Weight?”

“Why Can’t I Lose Fat?”

It breaks me almost every time I hear it because it is coming from a place of frustration. Probably how you are feeling right now… frustrated

Some of the people who attend these “BREAKTHROUGH” sessions become 1-2-1 clients of mine, who we work exceptionally close with to help them find the answers to their questions

And what you’re really after isn’t “why can’t I lose weight?” it’s actually…

Why Is Weight Loss So Hard To Achieve?

Why the influencers shouting “eat less and move more” & “calorie deficit” sounds all nice in theory, but is actually insulting to people like yourself who KNOW this theory, try your best, but the digital number on the scale simply just will not move

I’ll endeavor to uncover the truths for you in this blog post, with science and a bit of light hearted adult humour.

Let’s get right to it, so you can start seeing results! If you’re somebody who wants Cobham’s Best Personal Trainers & Coaches in your corner to coach you through the trials and tribulations of what it’s like to lose weight but also enjoy your Dinner at The Ivy. we’re here for you with our 7 Day Free Personal Training Trial.

No shame or judgments – just a supportive team who works hard to help you succeed

Why I Hate The Health & Fitness Industry?

These are some screenshots that I jacked from a Facebook group filled with desperate men and women… sounds like R.E.D in Weybridge on a Saturday night

I digress,

Within these posts there are some SERIOUS claims going on

For starters, the shape of the people selling these products leaves the average person with an IQ of above 1 questioning whether the products truly work

But, there are people who still buy into it because they are so far gone in their weight loss journey that they are willing to try anything

When you click through to the sales pages of these website they list every fitness buzzword you could possibly imagine:

  • Gluten Free

  • Vegan
  • Gut Microbiome 
  • Burn Fat
  • Organic
  • Lose Water

The worst claim I saw was…

“Strengthen your immunity to sugar”

I mean all carbohydrates are converted to sugar so how an earth you strengthen your immunity to sugar I will never truly understand but anyway…

People are buying this stuff,

These are people in jobs such as Nurses, Accountants, etc… how on earth they make it through day to day life, when they buy this stuff knowing it probably doesn’t work

It’s a bit like you buying a Euromillions ticket even when you know the odds of winning are 0.000000000000000000001% - what you really buy is that “dream” & “hope”

  • You hope that this will be the thing that actually works
  • You hope that you can burn fat that took 20 years to put on, overnight with a pill
  • You hope out of nowhere you’ll gain confidence and self love

Don’t get me wrong here

Hope is a wonderful thing

But, I just HATE when hope gets manipulated by companies to sell you expensive rubbish that doesn’t actually work

This is what my and the team here are trying to point right: companies who are shady enough to prey on your hopes and fears. We make every single client of ours BS proof against this kind of rubbish so they can join the fight back

I’ll also fight even harder against that subconscious mind of yours telling you that you aren’t good enough and that you are a failure for not being in shape. 

That subconscious that makes you feel guilty for eating a cookie

If you know of a company selling shady stuff like this…

Send them a link to this blog post mwahaha

So… The Science Of Fat Loss

Don’t get me wrong, if I could take a pill, tea, shake or whatever and lose weight without any effort… do you not think I would be doing that?

Of course I would… 

A 20 minute EMS class meant I could eat all the junk food I wanted… of course I’d be doing it

A pill that essentially reversed everything I’d ever done wrong in the past 15 years, corrected them and automatically got me in shape


It would be also very fucking cool if I could fly… but, I can’t so…


We live in a world of science, physics and something we call thermodynamics

This means that… If it sounds too good to be true, chances are it is.

If You Are Overweight and Looking At Weight Loss

It’s not because you have “toxins” a “fat gene” or anything else that needs to be flushed out by a juice detox

It’s because you spent more time eating doughnuts than you did exercising

^^ Not too good to be true. Because… it is true and I know it’s hard to hear ^^

So, what is the simplest explanation as to why you are overweight?

Everyday, you consume food that gets turned into energy

The body then has 3 choices as to what to do with this energy:

  1. Fuel bodily functions: fuel organs, regulate body temperature, fuel sex
  2. Pass through as waste: Pee and/or Poo
  3. Get stored as body fat: saved for when there is no food for you to eat every again

If you are overweight, you are consuming more ‘energy’ than your body needs every day

Because your body doesn’t need all of it, the excess energy is being stored as that wobbly tyre around your waist

Which brings us to the main point of FOCUS:

If weight loss is your goal, you must consume FEWER calories than you burn on a consistent basis

KEY WORD: Consistent

By doing so, your body has no choice but to dip into that “stored” fat fund to get some energy so that all daily tasks can be performed

Do this consistently and that’s how you end up with a lower dress size

“James I know I should eat less. It’s doing it consistently that’s the tough part. Have you tried COOKIES?!”

Before you ask… I am a food genius. In a past life or future, I will own a restaurant. Question me on any cookie, cake, chocolate and I’ll be able to give you a bloody good breakdown


We have to all start somewhere!

And your starting point is right here: you need to eat fewer calories, but it ALSO has to be sustainable and enjoyable, otherwise you’ll never stick to it

Take Gemma Collins for example… “No Carbs Before Marbs'', she lost weight. Now, look at her. See… extreme actions are not sustainable

You want permanent weight loss that you can maintain… not a temporary result

Just saying “eat less” doesn’t factor the crazy biological and physiological changes, and/or emotional challenges you face each day

You eat when you’re stressed, depressed and bored

You might be taking medication that causes you to overeat without realising

You can’t eat one sweet without eating the whole bag

You always grab a few chips off the kids plates without even thinking

Not only that, but even when you pay attention to what you eat, almost all studies show that humans underestimate calorie consumption but up to 30%

What would an intelligent person do in this situation?

If you know you overeat without realising it, and you know restricting calories is tough to stick with long term, then the only path to freedom is the greatest form of defence - ATTACK differently

Not do a juice detox

What Should I Eat For Weight Loss?

If weight loss is your goal, you need to shift your food choices to foods that give you more “bang for your buck”

Healthy, filling, nutritious

Foods that fill you up and make you feel less likely to overeat calorie-bomb foods

These foods allow you to feel full, but still keep you under your calorie goal for the day:

  • Protein like meat, fish, eggs & so on
  • Fruit like berries, apples, melon
  • Vegetables like broccoli, spinach, etc
  • Carbs like rice, pasta, potatoes, quinoa

These are foods that take up a lot of space in your stomach making you feel full

If you do this consistently, regularly and without being miserable

You’ll have a long term chance of losing weight and staying that size

Compare these foods to foods like:

  • Cake
  • Cookies
  • Coke
  • Nutella

All bloody tasty but they don’t help you feel full

To really get this point into your skull

Take a look here → at what 200 calories looks like of different foods


Which foods do you think will keep you fuller for longer?

“James, I can’t eat that amount of broccoli.”

Yep… it’s also the same number of calories as 2 chocolate digestive biscuits

Now, it’s insulting to say “You should eat more broccoli and less biscuits. But, there is your problem”

I am just pointing this out to drum home the point that there are huge difference between calories and volume

Depending upon what you eat, you could feel

“Oh I am so stuffed” 

Or… “Why am I still hungry, I could eat a cow”

Which means…

You can start to make even small changes, substituting nutrient-dense, calorie-light foods like protein, fruit and vegetables for junk food - even just 5 out of 7 days a week, it’s going to start putting the energy balance back in your favour

You’ll become less likely to eat more calories than you burn

Do that consistently, and you’ll start to pull from those fat store

And you’ll end up finding your UNICORN:

Sustainable, non-miserable weight loss

You know Mcdonald’s have their secret burger sauce… which is actually just normal burger sauce…

The above example is the secret or not so secret sauce of all popular diets

They get you eating REAL food and less junk

Who’d have thought?

But… they just hire a very good marketing team to come up with a new way of spinning it, so you buy it

Let’s look at some popular diets you may have heard of in a nutshell:

  • KETO: Cut out all carbs. Consume meat, veggies, nuts and fats.
  • Fasting: Cut out an entire meal each day.
  • Mediterranean Diet: Focus on real foods with whole grains.
  • Paleo: Cut out grains.
  • Vegan: Cut out an entire food group

ANY of the above diets will results in temporary weight loss if you strictly follow the rules, but not for the reason you’d think

It’s not because we are designed to eat like cave people or that our bodies function better on a ketogenic diet or that fasting has a million different health benefits

Those are what I call 1% reasons

The other 99%: they make you more likely to consume fewer calories on average than you usually eat, which will lead to weight loss in the long term

If you’re freaking out about how to eat and which diet to pick and you’re worried if you’ll even be able to stick with it, you’re not alone

It’s why we created our bespoke 1-2-1 Cobham Based Personal Training Package

To help people like you change their habits around food to start seeing permanent weight loss results without being miserable!

How much exercise do I need to do to lose weight?

There are a few generally accepted truths when it comes to weight loss

All of these come with baggage attached, a bit like your second partner in life

Your results will vary depending upon:

  • Weight
  • Level of activity
  • Genetics
  • Sex
  • Medications
  • Body fat

Setting all of that aside, I’m going to keep this as simple as possible

Let’s go with an oversimplified look at weight loss: A pound of fat equals 3500 calories

This would mean you’ll either need to eat 3500 calories less, or burn an extra 3500 calories to lose 1 pound

So… how long does it take to burn an additional 3500 calories?

How many hours do you have?

Studies show you’ll burn an extra 100 calories when walking or running a mile

So, you would need to be running/walking an additional 5 miles per day, 7 days a week to lose 1 pound

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have time to run an extra 5 miles a day

Nor do I really want to

You’ll quickly run into speed bumps - figurative ones, try to avoid real ones

Simply put, exercising your way thin has been proven time and time again not to work

What I’m trying to say and a lesson we try to deeply understand at The Lyfestyle Project…“you can’t outrun your fork”

Strength Training Or Exercise?

Conservatively speaking, strength training is the greatest thing ever invented in history 

Aside from The Salmon Hot Pot in Fegos

So maybe the second greatest thing

But, I say this to drum home another point

There’s a huge difference between “exercise” and strength training when it comes to body composition

This is a long an extensive topic which I’ll do another blog post on but I’ll cover the basics now

If your goal is consistent, permanent, healthy weight loss and weight management, 80-90% of the battle will be nutrition

When it comes to exercise, you really only have two things to focus on:

  • What exercise do you love?
  • Strength train as often as you have time for.

When you do exercise you love, you’re giving your heart and body a good workout. You’re reminding yourself “I am living healthy” and thus you should be more likely than not to stick with your healthy eating strategy

Notice I said “exercise you love”

If you hate running, never run a mile again.

Hate going to the gym? Never set food in one

Hate bootcamps? Me too. Don’t do them

Instead, go rock climbing, do yoga, or stripping… I don’t care, just do something you love

Really, anything that gets you off your ass and moving



BACK TO BASICS: How To Guarantee Successful Weight Loss

If you’re still reading, then there is hop

Remember → hope is a great thing to have

You can do this - but you have to be smart about it! Stop trying to exercise your way thin, and stop trying to find ‘get fit quick’ solutions

Instead, take this one day at a time. We’re here for you!

We go into far more details about proper nutrition with each of our 1-2-1 clients, but it starts here:

  • Eat fewer calories than you eat now to lose weight, and do it consistently.
  • The best way to do it is put more protein and veggies on your plate
  • Strength training will speed up your results

Understand you’re overeating, and forgive yourself for doing so - most foods have been designed for you to overeat!


#1) Stop Buying Juice Detox Crap: If you’re not sure, ask yourself “Does this sound too good to be true?” and “What would James do?”

#2) Make Decisions and Stick Them: Every calorie counts. Every decision counts. So make ONE different decision as a result of you being more aware of what you put in your body.

Drinking water instead of Coke

Swap out chips for a salad once a week

You’re a smart person. You know what foods should be daily staples, and what foods should be occasional treats. It all counts.

#3) Educate Yourself On Serving Sizes: Find a food you eat regularly. Google it. Find out if what you THINK is a serving and what’s actually in a serving.

I don’t want you to change the food or the portions yet. I just want you to educate yourself on what you’re eating, and compare it to how much you thought you were eating.


If you are looking for more hands-on guidance, we have two options for ya!

#1) 1-2-1 Cobham Personal Training! If that sounds like you, and you’re looking for nutritional guidance, custom strength training routines just for your situation, and expert accountability, we’d love to hear your story!

#2) Join The Fight Back! Join our free email list and community - I send fund daily emails. Get them when you sign up in the box below:


PS: I know this HOPEFULLY goes without saying, but this is the internet: I totally get that this issue is very complicated to begin with. If you have any hormonal imbalances, PCOS or are on any medications that could be affecting your weight. 

PLEASE speak with your doctor about your weight and any changes you are looking to make!

About the Author thelyfestyleproject

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